Yes, Even Princesses
by cedfiafics
Summary: Enchancia's newest princess has a problem that she feels only magic can solve. Thankfully she has a royal sorcerer at her disposal to ease her troubles. Cedric/Sofia early friendship, oneshot


AN: Here's a little story in the spirit of the holiday today! I hope you enjoy!

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It wasn't at all uncommon for the new princess to come knocking on his door.

Regretfully, it seemed to be an all too frequent occurrence as of late. Ever since he had made the mistake of taking her as his apprentice she had been coming to him with varying issues and no hour of the day seemed sacred enough to deter her. Even early morning hours saw her flitting into the workshop with some minuscule problem that made him grind his teeth in annoyance so it wasn't a terrible shock to him when that familiar little knock interrupted the late night pity party he had just begun to throw for himself.

He initially reached for his robe for decency's sake but quickly thought better of it. Perhaps if the child saw that he was in his nightwear she would take the hint that he was prepared for relaxation, not to help her with her problems.

He fumbled through the darkness of the workshop to the door and pulled it open to find the youngest princess peering up at him dressed in her own nightwear and a nervous smile. "Princess Sofia..."

"Good evening, Mr. Ceedric." The princess spoke apprehensively.

"It's _Cedric_." He replied dryly. "And it is far past evening now. It is time for little princesses and their royal sorcerers to be headed off to dream land and that's precisely where I'm headed right now so if you don't mind, I'll be on my way and you can be on yours."

"I know it's late." Sofia said meekly, pressing her hand against the door as Cedric moved to close it. "And I don't want to take up too much of your time but this is something _really_ important. Can I come in for just a moment? Please?"

Cedric's patience was wearing thin but he knew better than to appear cross with the child. After all, he needed to remain in her good graces long enough to devise a way to snatch the Amulet of Avalor off that frail little neck of hers. At the sight of the jewel gleaming in the intruding moonlight his lips worked into a crooked smile and he pulled the door wide open for her to enter. "I suppose I have a bit of time for _you_. What can I do for you, Princess Sofia?"

The young princess' feet carried her forward into the dark workshop to find Wormwood asleep on his perch with his beak nestled under his wing. A bit of relief filled her at the sight. She wasn't even certain that she could speak freely to Cedric about her problem. Having the judgmental raven aware of the situation would have only made things worse.

She turned around to face Cedric as he slipped his robe on over his form and took up his wand to light a few of the sconces around the room, giving the atmosphere a warm and inviting glow. Her hands were tangled in the nightgown she wore and her heart was pounding in her ears as the sorcerer turned his steely gaze over her. Her courage nearly fled her until the moment that her stomach let out a horrendous gurgle. Her eyes widened, as did Cedric's and the two stood staring at one another, frozen in place.

At last the words she felt too fearful to say came barreling out of her mouth before she could second guess them. "Mr. Ceedric, I need a spell that will make it so that I don't flatulate anymore!"

Cedric blinked at the child in front of him, her face crimson and eyes swimming with tears of embarrassment. A small titter escaped his lips which caused an immediate flinch in the young girl. It was all he could do to prevent himself from an uproar of laughter as he tried to inquire about the reason for her request. "Princess Sofia, why on earth would you want-"

"Amber told me that princesses don't flatulate." Sofia said as her grip on her nightgown tightened. "She said that all true princesses are born without the need to flatulate but..."

Cedric couldn't help the hearty chuckle that rose up as a petite puff of air escaped from the princess' form with a squeak. Her face grew even redder at his chortle but he didn't feel particularly bad for laughing until two crocodile tears rolled down her cheeks. "I don't mean to laugh, Princess. Forgive me." He paused and cleared his throat in an attempt to regain his composure before stepping forward with his wand at the ready. "What is it that you need me to do? Did you eat something that didn't agree with you? I can heal your tummy troubles."

Sofia's stomach let out another gurgle and she cast her eyes downward. "I _did_ eat something that made me a bit gassy. But I don't just need you to get rid of it tonight. I need you to make it so that it never happens again. You can do that, can't you?"

"I suppose I could perhaps find a spell somewhere, but I would strongly advise against doing something so drastic." Cedric replied. "Princess, _everyone_ passes gas from time to time."

"That's not what Amber said." Sofia muttered.

"Princess Amber is not always a bastion of truth." Cedric assured the princess who still had tears far too large for her face rolling over her cherubic little cheeks. "And I can assure you that she most certainly flatulates."

Sofia raised her gaze to Cedric timidly. She lifted her hands to wipe her eyes and sniffled a bit as she replied. "A-are you sure?"

Cedric let out a heavy sigh and moved away from the princess toward his bookshelf. He searched the collection of texts briefly before finding the book he had been looking for. He picked it off the shelf and promptly carried it to his work space where he opened it and displayed the pages for the princess to see. "When I was in school one of the most important classes I had to take involved the study of human anatomy. It was important to know how our bodies work in relation to magic so we can know how to safely perform spells without causing any bodily harm. Would you like to look at the chapter about the digestive system?"

Sofia took a few steps in the direction of Cedric's work space and looked over the book in interest. There on the page was an illustration of a human form and the organs inside responsible for the intake and disposal of sustenance. She read over the informative words that described in great detail how the system worked before turning her eyes up to Cedric in awe. "This is how _everyone's_ body works?"

"This book certainly doesn't state that there are exceptions for princesses." Cedric replied with a shrug.

Sofia returned her attention to the book to scan its words for confirmation of this and indeed, there was nothing to indicate that princesses were genetically different from any other humans. "Which means that _everyone_ flatulates."

"Yes, even princesses." Cedric said with a smile. "Now, I have a spell that can get rid of the rumbles in your stomach but it will not be permanent. Are you alright with that?"

"Yes, Mr. Ceedric!" Sofia chimed happily as she threw her arms around the sorcerer. "Thank you! Thank you!"

Cedric smiled at the princess' display of gratitude and gently patted her head. With a wave of his wand and a few magic words he alleviated the gastric distress within her and swiftly sent her on her way. Once she was gone he let out a relieved sigh and turned to close up the anatomy book to put it back in its place. That was when an idea occurred to him.

There were spells that could be cast, purely meant for medical purposes of course, but that hadn't stopped him from using them for nefarious reasons in the past. He recalled a time when he and his schoolmate Greylock had spent an entire week in detention for using such a spell to make their transmogrification class a bit more entertaining. He had since outgrown such childish pranks but in light of this turn of events he couldn't help but think that perhaps it was a spell he should cast just one more time.

...

Sofia did her best to mask a tiny yawn as she sat at the breakfast table with her family. It was a rude disruption and one she hoped went unnoticed, though her mother never missed even the slightest detail.

"Sofia, what's wrong? Did you not sleep well last night?" Miranda asked in concern for her daughter.

"I just stayed up later than I originally intended to." Sofia replied, casting her mother a small smile.

"Maybe her flatulence kept her awake." Amber spoke under her breath to James, nudging her twin as he snickered in response. "It was certainly loud enough."

Sofia blushed as she overheard her sister's remark to their brother. She lowered her gaze in embarrassment and began fidgeting with her gown under the table. "Uhm... may I be excused?"

Miranda eyed her daughter before turning her gaze to the nearly full plate in front of the child. "Sweetheart, you've barely touched your food. Aren't you hungry?"

"I just don't have much of an appetite." Sofia muttered quietly.

"Probably for the best." Amber whispered. "There's no telling what kind of gas _this_ meal will give her."

Sofia kept her eyes downcast, wincing at her sister's words. She drew in a quick breath to plead with her mother to be released from the table when a thunderous sound rippled out from Amber's seat and silenced the room.

The silence only lasted for a brief moment, however, before James burst into hysterical laughter.

"Amber, was that _you_!?" James chuckled. "Impressive!"

"N-no! It wasn't me!" Amber cried in response. "Princesses don't-"

But another loud rumble escaped from Amber's form, this time enticing a laugh from not only James but Roland as well.

"Amber, do you need to be excused?" Roland asked as he tried to hide the growing smile on his face.

"I-I don't know what's going on!" Amber shouted as she jumped to her feet. "This isn't my fault! I can't control it!"

"Nobody can control when they pass gas, Amber." Miranda offered in an attempt to comfort the girl. "You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed. It's a natural occurrence for everyone."

" _Not_ for princesses!" Amber shrieked just before another roar escaped her lower half.

"And boom goes the cannon!" James cheered gleefully.

Roland placed his hand over his mouth to cover his smirk and did his best to sound stern as he addressed his son. "James, that's not very nice."

Amber clenched her fists at her sides and glared at her brother. "It isn't funny, James!"

"You're right, Amber." James replied. "It's hilarious!"

Amber let out a shrill cry and stamped her foot on the ground. This only caused another outlandish noise to erupt from within her which gave her father and brother a laugh. Even Miranda joined in with a giggle. The princess could stand it no longer. She turned from her family and started swiftly out the door, expelling gas with every step that she took.

Sofia watched in silence as her sister scurried out of the dining hall. She stood quickly to follow after the older girl, catching up with her in the hall. She reached out to catch her sister by the hand and pulled back on her to gain her attention. "Amber, what's wrong?"

The eldest princess whirled around to face her sister, red in the face with humility. "Sofia, I... I flatulated! In front of people!"

"So?" Sofia said with a shrug. "You heard what Mom said. Everyone flatulates. It's natural and you shouldn't be embarrassed."

"Princesses _don't_ flatulate, Sofia!" Amber retorted.

"Yes they do, Amber." Sofia replied. "Mr. Ceedric told me so."

"Oh, he doesn't know what he's talking about!" Amber said with a scoff, though her words were nearly drowned out by yet another gastric outburst.

Sofia sighed softly and eyed her sister up and down as several more eruptions followed. "Amber, princesses pass gas. Everyone passes gas. You can't tell me this is the first time in your life this has ever happened."

Amber crossed her arms and huffed, averting her eyes from the younger girl. "I _may_ have experienced this once or twice. But it's never happened in front of anyone before! It's horrible!"

"It's something that everyone does." Sofia replied with a shrug. "And you shouldn't feel bad about it. You also shouldn't try to make others feel bad about it either. It isn't very nice."

"I guess you're right." Amber said with a groan. "I just wish I could make it stop!"

Sofia smiled and pulled on her sister's hand, leading the older girl in the direction of Cedric's workshop. "Come on, Amber. I know just where to go to get help."

…

"Princess Amber. Princess Sofia." Cedric said, masking his knowing grin behind his usual disinterested scowl. "What brings you to my workshop so early in the morning? Shouldn't you be enjoying breakfast right now?"

Sofia nodded and pulled on Amber until the girl stood side by side with her. "We were but... well, Amber has a problem she needs your help with."

"And that would be?" Cedric pried, though he knew well enough what the problem was.

Sofia nudged her sister as the girl remained tight-lipped. "Go ahead, Amber. Tell him."

Amber let out a disgruntled sigh and tossed her hair back as she avoided the sorcerer's gaze. "I have a bit of a disturbance."

"A disturbance? Whatever do you mean, Princess Amber?" Cedric asked, finding it harder to hide the humor he found in the situation. Just then the blonde haired princess let out a monstrous bellow from behind and he had to stifle a wicked cackle.

"I'm... a bit gassy." Amber whispered. "Sofia says you can help."

"Gassy? Oh my." Cedric replied, feigning shock. "And here I had heard that princesses, _true princesses_ , didn't flatulate at all. But of course that's ridiculous. _Everyone_ flatulates, do they not?"

"Yes." Amber admitted with a grumble. "Even princesses."

"Splendid." Cedric said with a wide smile, stepping aside for the girls to enter. "I do believe I can help you. Come right this way..."

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AN #2: Happy April Fools Day, everyone! I hope you enjoyed this silly little story about princesses and farts! :P

(Also Happy Easter!)


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